26; May 18; wife, cat mom; foodie, designer, blogger, knitter, yarn junkie, Wordpress guru, geek extreme; Mac connoisseur and Instagram addict.


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Tag Archives: parents

#projectreflect12 day two: it happened for a reason

Posted on December 2, 2012 by phillynikongal • 3 Comments

December 2: It Happened for a Reason

Different things happen for different reasons. Some of them happen to make us stronger, and some happen to make us better people. Describe one thing that happened this year that challenged you to be a better, stronger person, against all odds.  How did this affect you emotionally?

In the very beginning of this year, Mr. Fox and I picked up all our stuff (well, what was left after selling and giving away most of it) and moved from Indiana to Philadelphia.

projectreflect12 day two moving indiana philadelphia life starting

Backstory for those unfamiliar: Mr. Fox’s father died in April 2011, and we had the opportunity to buy the house he had resided in before he died, from the estate. Ironically, the house was previously Mr. Fox’s uncle’s house, and it was quite literally around the corner from the house he had grown up in as a child. Anyway, so we bought the house from the estate, with the inheritance, and in turn, inherited everything in the house. Since Mr. Fox and I met, he had always talked and talked about things he still had at his dad’s house, from his childhood up until he moved in 2003, and I would always say that he shouldn’t get his hopes up about it still being there if we were ever to return. Needless to say, I ate my words when we got here and started unearthing shoes that Mr. Fox had worn when he was 5 years old, as well as some pretty godawful clothes that he bought before he left town, and should never ever wear.

I digress.

Mr. Fox and I had always secretly wanted to move back to Philadelphia. I was born in Jersey, but grew up between there and Philly. And obviously this was his home before moving to Indiana. So when the opportunity presented itself, we jumped. We took the chance, and like I said, sold off most of our stuff, threw a lot away, gave a lot away, and moved. We both quit our jobs, gave up friends, and I left my parents behind (though they actually ended up moving here as well in September).

This was very hard for me to do, even though I’ve always moved around. My parents were always indecisive and got that “5 year itch” (although sometimes it became the 2-year itch), so I got used to not living in the same place for more than a couple years. I guess I don’t really know why this time around was harder for me than others. Maybe it was because I was leaving my parents behind (we have a close relationship), or maybe it was because I was leaving a bunch of friends behind (even though this hadn’t been the first time I’d done that).

On the flip side of the coin, I believe that this was one of the best decisions I’ve made to date. Not only am I a homeowner, but I am back in a place that had previously given me a new lease on life (I lived here back in 03-04, graduated HS here with honors, and generally had a wonderful life living here). I have new friends in addition to the ones I had here before. I’ve reconnected with childhood friends I had growing up in Jersey. Mr. Fox has rekindled friendships he had left behind when he moved away, and that makes him happy. Our marriage has gotten stronger and healthier.

So I suppose I would say that, had it not been for a house basically falling into our laps, we’d still be living unhappily in a place we only felt like we “existed” in, rather than “belonged”. Mr. Fox and I “belong” in Philadelphia, so we live and exist and love here. Our time in Indiana was more or less a very long, extended vacation. Granted, we did leave people behind when we moved. We haven’t forgotten about them, and they still made an important impact on our lives.

But we needed to move on. And I was and still am grateful for the opportunity we were given to do just that. I believe this challenged me emotionally because it was like a clean state. Like I was wiping the previous few years of my life and just starting over in a new place with new people. If you ever have the chance to do this, don’t think about it too much. Just do it, because if you don’t, you’ll always find yourself wondering what would’ve happened had you taken the chance and jumped.

I couldn’t imagine my life any better than it has been since getting here.

This year, I am participating in #projectreflect12, which is a new series for reflecting on the year gone by before the new year starts.

projectreflect12 day two moving indiana philadelphia life starting

Filed Under: #projectreflect12

five guys is overrated

Posted on July 4, 2012 by phillynikongal • 5 Comments

Mr. Fox and I went to Five Guys this afternoon for lunch. It is July 4th (happy Independence Day by the way!), and Chipotle was closed (that was my first choice), so we ended up at Five Guys.

Have I ever told you how much I dislike going there? It’s not that the food is bad necessarily, it’s just that, well, it’s a novelty that I’ve grown to dislike. In the beginning, it was love, mainly because we lived in a town that was not really burger-diverse. Now it’s just, well, when I see the familiar red and white, my stomach hurts.

five guys overrated greasy fattening burgers french fries

I used to live with the parents in Las Vegas and Phoenix, and was spoiled with In-n-Out Burger. If you’ve never been there, it’s amazing. Well, to me anyway. It was the first time I had experienced the “flat burger patty”, and that, combined with the greasy cheesy goodness and “burger sauce” was just enough to keep me coming back over and over again. That and the fries of course. The fries. Oh. My. God. Salty potato-y goodness right there.

Anyway, I digress.

There was a time when I thought that Five Guys trumped even In-N-Out. Granted, that’s back when I wasn’t guilty of eating their normal bacon cheeseburger and half of a large fry (split between me and the husband. Have you gotten an order of fries from Five Guys before? When you order a large, you’re actually getting the equivalent of two of their large fry cups. They fill one and dump the other in on top. Same goes for their regular order. One does not need that many fries! Also, have you ever noticed that if you’ve eaten too many of their fries, you start to have a weird aftertaste?

Not to mention that the food at Five Guys is absolutely horrible for you. I don’t know what’s in the meat, I don’t know where it comes from. Who knows if there’s any pink slime in there. All I know is that it tastes like a greasy hamburger. Probably my biggest complaint is the number of calories. I don’t like feeling like I have to fast for two days in order to eat there, or go to the gym for five hours afterwards. I always get the Little Bacon Cheeseburger when I eat there, which is 630 calories as is, with no additional toppings. And then the fries. Oh lord. Their regular fries are 620, so if you split them it’s 310. But still. almost 1000 calories on one meal is more than half of my daily intake.

Yeah, they might be tasty, but I think they’re overrated. I’ve had much better burgers, one of which being Elevation Burger, which I will be doing a review of for The Burger Bar soon.

What do you guys think? Do you prefer the greasy Five Guys or something else?

five guys overrated greasy fattening burgers french fries

Filed Under: Fast Food Joints, The Burger Bar

#scintilla bonus #1 – leaving home

Posted on March 18, 2012 by phillynikongal • 0 Comments

I totally meant to finish/post this yesterday, but for one reason or another, I completely forgot! So please forgive me!!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Today’s #scintilla prompt comes from their Twitter account.

scintilla project day four leaving home growing

—–

The first time I left home was in 2006.

I was young and stupid. I was going through a divorce and I was in a whirlwind relationship with The Dark One (there’s no real reason to talk about him in any other manner other than this). We had been together for about a month when we decided to be young and stupid and move in together. My divorce wasn’t even final yet.

I remember the first time I went shopping for groceries for our new apartment, which was near 19th st and Camelback Rd in Phoenix. I was 19 and had never shopped for myself before, let alone a boyfriend. Of course, I’d been shopping with my mom before. But I had no real idea of what to buy. $200 or more later, and I left the store with a bunch of crap.

I don’t think I was ever in the right frame of mind during the entirety of that relationship. Because of my illness, I was making horrible decisions, which included getting remarried shortly after my divorce was final. I can’t blame it entirely on being sick, because I was pretty young and stupid back in those days.

Leaving home that year, even if it was only for about 10 months (we moved back in with my parents while I was in and out of the hospital) was certainly a learning experience. I never knew anything else the first 20 years of my life, which were spent living with my parents. I was afraid, but I did it anyway.

Even though it was not the best time of my life, it shaped who I am today. And I am thankful for that, even if it brought me a lot of pain.

scintilla project day four leaving home growing

Filed Under: #scintilla, Just Me

An Open Letter to Pete the Planner

Posted on January 16, 2012 by phillynikongal • 5 Comments

My disclaimer: I am not an avid fan of Pete the Planner, and I am often annoyed by some of the posts he writes on his blog. Some posts are fine, but others just scream “I’m the all-knowing and you should follow me into the abyss.” Also, I did not watch his spot on IndyStyle, because, well, I am in Philadelphia. Even when I was in Indy, I hated IndyStyle.

I happened to have been checking my Facebook feed from the last 24 hours when I came across a post from Pete’s Facebook page. It confused me because I thought that I had unliked it in my recent purge. The post was regarding a recent post on his blog about a piece of hate mail he had received from a viewer of his spot on IndyStyle. I went to it, read the post, read the hate mail (which he copy/pasted into his post) and started to write a comment. I then decided that the comment would be too long, so I came here to write this open letter to Pete.

Dear Pete the Planner,

To be quite honest, I completely agree with Denise, and find it quite immature of you to gloat publicly about it on your blog (although you say you’re not gloating, it comes across as gloating to me). However, be that as it may, I will attempt to “respectfully disagree” with you.

I’ve been trying to graduate from college with a degree for the last 7 years, and for more than one reason, I’ve been unsuccessful, whether it be due to personal reasons, lack of time, or just plain lack of motivation. Yeah, I took out student loans. Yeah, I owe the government money. Big effing deal! I grew up as part of the very bottom of middle class. My parents are baby boomers who have no retirement fund. My college education was to be funded by my grandmother, who then died and my money-grubbing aunt stole that money away from me. By the time I turned 18, I had no college fund or savings, because I didn’t know how to save money. In fact, I was already in debt to my parents who so graciously helped me along the way during the first 18 years of my life.

When I took out my first student loan, I was proud of myself for making this decision, because I wouldn’t have been able to go to school if I hadn’t. I had exhausted my outside resources for funding (scholarships didn’t want me, parents ran out of extra money), and I was working a fankless job that wasn’t making me nearly enough money to pay for my education. I suppose I could have maybe done one class at a time, but I was already coming up on three years at the local community college. The fact of the matter is, getting student loans allowed me to further my education more than I would have been able to do on my own.

Student loans aren’t for everyone, and I am okay with that. I am okay with being one of the few who can honestly say that taking out student loans have helped me receive my college education. Sure, I’m not wracking up hundreds of thousands of dollars with an Ivy League education, but by working towards my degree, I am planning my future. I will plan for my kids’ college education (I have no kids right now, but when I do), and do what I can to ensure that they know the value of a dollar and are able to save their money towards their education. If they need to take a student loan, then so be it. I am not going to stop them by saying that they can’t take out a student loan. While I agree, it would be great and wonderful to graduate college debt free, but as I said about student loans not being for everyone, neither is being without debt of any kind. I’ve calculated the amount of debt that I have and will have by the time I’m done with school. I’ve made a plan of action for when I’ve graduated to pay it back. I pay the interest on the loans that are accruing interest. Just because I have taken out the loans, doesn’t mean I’m not doing it smartly. There are many people out there who take the loans out and cruise by, living off the money and not thinking about how, yeah, they have the money now and can buy what they want, but they eventually have to pay it back.

Those of us who were misfortunate like me to not know better back in high school before we entertained the idea of college, well, there’s no help for us now since we already owe the government money. And poor Denise, well, she’s one of us misfortunate ones. She’s doing what she can for her son, so who are you to publicly out her on her blog, and then gloat about it? You may have taken the high road in your response to her, but you’re the one being immature about it by posting about it in the first place. You could have changed her name, and maybe edited her typos. All your reader base sees now is an uneducated person who doesn’t know what she’s talking about, and unfortunately can’t spell or punctuate. Yeah, she could have re-read her email and proofread it, but rightfully so, she was angry and upset by what you had said. I don’t fault someone for misspelling a few things here and there when they’re angry, because they took the time to write to you about it.

We all can’t be perfect, money-smart people like you Mr. Planner. But we do what we can with what we’re able to handle. I’m sure that there are those that’ll disagree, but that’s their prerogative. Just like it’s mine to write this open letter to you.

Sincerely,

Esther, the one who’s actively planning how to repay her student loans.

open letter pete planner student loans college education

Filed Under: Just Me, Random Rants

Small Hiatus

Posted on January 5, 2012 by phillynikongal • 0 Comments

Hey everyone!

I apologize for not being around much this past week. It’s moving week around here, so I have not been at my computer much. I actually meant to make this post a couple days ago but I forgot. I’m exhausted, so sue me!

Truthfully, this is the most interesting, and quite possibly the hardest, move yet, and it’s certainly not something I am used to. In the past, I’ve moved extremely long distances with my parents. We have a very close relationship, and I don’t go very long without seeing them. We’ve been together through 6 of my 10 total moves (the other 4 moves were in the same city, just with the ex, not including the couple Indianapolis moves with Mr. Fox. The longest time I was moved away from my parents was when I moved out here to Indy from Phoenix with Mr. Fox in July of ’08, and my parents didn’t get out here until November of that year. Four months, yes. Four very long and difficult months in which I questioned my motives for leaving them there while their house was on the market and even contemplated moving back until it was sold, yes. You may think that, in retrospect, four months is pretty short to complain about. But when you’re essentially an only child (I have 4 half siblings, but they’re another story for another day) and all you pretty much know are your parents (the farthest I had lived from them was about 30-45 minutes, and even then I went over to their house A LOT), four months apart is a LONG TIME.

I digress.

This move is different. Mr. Fox and I have a chance at a new beginning, and we’re taking it. We are giving up a lot of things here in Indiana to do it, also. We’re leaving friends (not many, but a fair few), jobs (I still have mine, but am hoping to branch out into something more meaningful), and most importantly, my parents. 600 miles away (although the first time we separated in ’08 it was 1600 miles) from the other two most important people in my life. All for the sake of getting out of a horrible place in order to start fresh in the place we both spent our childhoods.

To say I wasn’t depressed would be an understatement. Which is strange though, when you think about it. I should be freaking excited! I am going back to the one place I was the most successful and most happy! The place I spent many happy years, with some amazing people. Mr. Fox was born there (and, as I’ve mentioned before, I am from Jersey, but I spent a lot of time between Jersey and Philly) and has a lot of roots there that he wants to pick up. We’ve been counting down the days since October of last year (man, it’s only the 5th of January and it feels strange to say last year).

I digress again. @_@

I should be excited, and I am. You just wouldn’t know it, because moving depresses me. I believe I’ve called it the “moving blues.” After moving so much, yes, it’s become a science, but it hasn’t and will not get any easier, no matter where I’m going. Yes, we’re picking up and leaving Indianapolis. Yes, we’re going back to a happier place where we have a lot of friends and even some relatives. Yes, we’re getting a pretty fresh start. But I am still depressed.

Like the other day for instance. I realized that I only really have three major things left to remember my grandmother by. A very dated old Sony Watchman portable television, which used to reside in her kitchen in her condo, and before that in her kitchen at the house on Spring Ave in Elkins Park. It doesn’t even work, but I cannot part with it. So many summers spent sitting in the kitchen, watching that old little black and white TV. The second thing, the old wooden checker/chess board that used to reside on her game table in the family room. I can’t even begin to count the number of times she kicked my ass over the years at checkers. When I unearthed the checker board, I started bawling. Mr. Fox and I were outside, clearing out our outdoor storage closet, it was 13 degrees outside, and I was crying like a baby. My face was chapped, and I was very upset. The third thing I have is a Cuisinart food processor, circa 1970′s. It is a BEAST, and it weighs a ton. It is this exact model, and it works like a dream. I will use it until it dies, and if/when it does, I will replace it with its newer version. I had a great many other momentos, including beautiful Le Creuset cookware circa 1960′s, and a bunch of other memories, but they were lost in the Great Eviction Debacle of 2006, courtesy of my ex husband Brandon (yet another story for another time).

So right around the time of the Great Eviction Debacle of 2006, I began to lose interest in moving around. I equated moving with being depressed and losing things of importance and value, and therefore I became depressed at the thought of moving in general. Mr. Fox doesn’t quite understand it, but I’m sure in time, he will. He is extremely excited to be going back, and I really can’t blame him. He left Philly for Indy to be with his now ex (obviously) in 2003, and in doing so, lost touch with a lot of his friends from high school and grade school, as well as his own father (RIP, 4/2011). I had a chance to meet his best friends the last time we were there in October, and they are pretty awesome. So that being said, Mr. Fox can’t see why I’m not as excited as he is.

Oh hey, I digress again!

The TL;DR bottom line: I am going to be out of here in a very VERY short time. And I’m both happy and sad about it. But things will be okay. Mom and dad will follow us there if the market allows. So not all hope is lost. I can only hope that it doesn’t take a long time.

Sorry, I went on a bit of a tirade there, didn’t I?

Now back to business. All that being said, I will be gone for the next couple days. I will try and get a couple posts in if I can, but try not to miss me too much, kay?

small hiatus moving blues depression

Filed Under: Just Me