I apologize for not being around much this past week. It’s moving week around here, so I have not been at my computer much. I actually meant to make this post a couple days ago but I forgot. I’m exhausted, so sue me!
Truthfully, this is the most interesting, and quite possibly the hardest, move yet, and it’s certainly not something I am used to. In the past, I’ve moved extremely long distances with my parents. We have a very close relationship, and I don’t go very long without seeing them. We’ve been together through 6 of my 10 total moves (the other 4 moves were in the same city, just with the ex, not including the couple Indianapolis moves with Mr. Fox. The longest time I was moved away from my parents was when I moved out here to Indy from Phoenix with Mr. Fox in July of ’08, and my parents didn’t get out here until November of that year. Four months, yes. Four very long and difficult months in which I questioned my motives for leaving them there while their house was on the market and even contemplated moving back until it was sold, yes. You may think that, in retrospect, four months is pretty short to complain about. But when you’re essentially an only child (I have 4 half siblings, but they’re another story for another day) and all you pretty much know are your parents (the farthest I had lived from them was about 30-45 minutes, and even then I went over to their house A LOT), four months apart is a LONG TIME.
This move is different. Mr. Fox and I have a chance at a new beginning, and we’re taking it. We are giving up a lot of things here in Indiana to do it, also. We’re leaving friends (not many, but a fair few), jobs (I still have mine, but am hoping to branch out into something more meaningful), and most importantly, my parents. 600 miles away (although the first time we separated in ’08 it was 1600 miles) from the other two most important people in my life. All for the sake of getting out of a horrible place in order to start fresh in the place we both spent our childhoods.
To say I wasn’t depressed would be an understatement. Which is strange though, when you think about it. I should be freaking excited! I am going back to the one place I was the most successful and most happy! The place I spent many happy years, with some amazing people. Mr. Fox was born there (and, as I’ve mentioned before, I am from Jersey, but I spent a lot of time between Jersey and Philly) and has a lot of roots there that he wants to pick up. We’ve been counting down the days since October of last year (man, it’s only the 5th of January and it feels strange to say last year).
I digress again. @_@
I should be excited, and I am. You just wouldn’t know it, because moving depresses me. I believe I’ve called it the “moving blues.” After moving so much, yes, it’s become a science, but it hasn’t and will not get any easier, no matter where I’m going. Yes, we’re picking up and leaving Indianapolis. Yes, we’re going back to a happier place where we have a lot of friends and even some relatives. Yes, we’re getting a pretty fresh start. But I am still depressed.
Like the other day for instance. I realized that I only really have three major things left to remember my grandmother by. A very dated old Sony Watchman portable television, which used to reside in her kitchen in her condo, and before that in her kitchen at the house on Spring Ave in Elkins Park. It doesn’t even work, but I cannot part with it. So many summers spent sitting in the kitchen, watching that old little black and white TV. The second thing, the old wooden checker/chess board that used to reside on her game table in the family room. I can’t even begin to count the number of times she kicked my ass over the years at checkers. When I unearthed the checker board, I started bawling. Mr. Fox and I were outside, clearing out our outdoor storage closet, it was 13 degrees outside, and I was crying like a baby. My face was chapped, and I was very upset. The third thing I have is a Cuisinart food processor, circa 1970′s. It is a BEAST, and it weighs a ton. It is this exact model, and it works like a dream. I will use it until it dies, and if/when it does, I will replace it with its newer version. I had a great many other momentos, including beautiful Le Creuset cookware circa 1960′s, and a bunch of other memories, but they were lost in the Great Eviction Debacle of 2006, courtesy of my ex husband Brandon (yet another story for another time).
So right around the time of the Great Eviction Debacle of 2006, I began to lose interest in moving around. I equated moving with being depressed and losing things of importance and value, and therefore I became depressed at the thought of moving in general. Mr. Fox doesn’t quite understand it, but I’m sure in time, he will. He is extremely excited to be going back, and I really can’t blame him. He left Philly for Indy to be with his now ex (obviously) in 2003, and in doing so, lost touch with a lot of his friends from high school and grade school, as well as his own father (RIP, 4/2011). I had a chance to meet his best friends the last time we were there in October, and they are pretty awesome. So that being said, Mr. Fox can’t see why I’m not as excited as he is.
Oh hey, I digress again!
The TL;DR bottom line: I am going to be out of here in a very VERY short time. And I’m both happy and sad about it. But things will be okay. Mom and dad will follow us there if the market allows. So not all hope is lost. I can only hope that it doesn’t take a long time.
Sorry, I went on a bit of a tirade there, didn’t I?
Now back to business. All that being said, I will be gone for the next couple days. I will try and get a couple posts in if I can, but try not to miss me too much, kay?