I am really sad that #scintilla is ending soon. I wish that it could have been a month long project instead of a fortnight. Ah well, I suppose I will have to find something else to occupy my time. LIKE KNITTING!!! WOOP WOOP!
So today’s prompt:
Prompt A: Talk about breaking someone else’s heart, or having your own heart broken.
I may actually have to write about both prompts today. I feel like I’m in a good mood and want to write, seeing as my to-do list for the day is rather small.
When I was in 7th grade, I lived in Las Vegas. Well, technically it was Henderson, which is right outside of Las Vegas. My neighborhood was just re-zoned for a different middle school, so now I was about to start school at my 4th middle school (sixth grade I started at a magnet school, then left and went to my zoned school, and then we moved to Henderson mid-year).
I remember it like it was yesterday. I had to do a 6 week period of Spanish, and sitting right next to me was a nerdy boy named Mark. He’s actually the one I mentioned in this post. Anyway, he was goofy and adorable, and I had a HUGE crush on him. He was also very smart, and sometimes I wondered if he was too smart for me. He always wore J.Crew shirts and had his head in a book. But when we got to Spanish class, all bets were off. We would totally goof off. He would pass me notes that were written in code, and I would have to decode them. I loved those notes! One in particular, was asking me if I wanted to go with him to hang out at Barnes and Noble.
A date! To the bookstore, which at the time, was only my favorite place to go. I was a bit of a bookworm back then.
Of course I said yes.
And it was everything a date to Barnes and Nobles should be. We stayed there for almost 8 hours, drinking caramel frappucinos, reading books, giggling at Calvin & Hobbes together, and playing chess. We did this a few times actually, and all times were equally as enjoyable as the last. I really really liked him (well, as much as a 7th grader could), and I believe Mark liked me as well.
That spring, he asked me to go with him to the Renaissance Faire. I was elated, and it was so much fun! Even though we were basically being followed around by his dad, because he took us there. Mark bought me one of those flowery headband thingies, as well as a piece of jewelry, which I will talk about later.
And that was that. I am not sure what happened. At the end of the year, he stopped talking to me, and we stopped hanging out together. At the time, I wasn’t sure what I had done wrong, but I am reasonably sure it was the fact that my friend Megan decided to keep calling him to find out if he liked me.
I was very hurt.
All through eighth grade, he would avoid me like the plague. Granted, I was always with my friends, but still. Even when I was alone, I would say hello and he’d ignore me. It was very frustrating and upsetting. But I was your typical boy crazy eighth grader, and I didn’t really let it phase me.
That is, until the end of the school year. My family decided they wanted to move to Indiana, so after the school year was over, I was leaving. I remember one day in particular, that I was in the counselor’s office bitching again (I did this often), and for one reason or another, I had stormed out of the office in tears. That year, Mark was a student aid, and he saw me storm out. I was on my way back to english class, and I heard someone call out my name. I turned around, and there was Mark. We just stood there for a minute in silence. Finally, he said, “Cryssy (my nickname at the time), I’m sorry you have to move.” I don’t remember what I said, but we stood there for a minute again and then he turned and went back to his post. And I just stood there. I could feel the tears on my cheeks as I stood there in silence.
That’s when I knew my heart was broken. I had hoped that maybe, just maybe, he was going to ask me to the eighth grade dance. Then I thought, well, why the hell didn’t I ask him?!
Fast forward to 2006.
I was living in Arizona, and was married to The Dark One. I decided one day that I would try and reconnect with Mark, so I found him on Myspace. We talked about how things ended 6 years earlier, and why they happened the way they happened. I spent many nights on the phone with him while The Dark One was at work, and it was rather comforting. Yeah, I was going around The Dark One’s back to talk to Mark, but I didn’t care.
So on one of our random trips up to Vegas, I decided to meet up with Mark to catch up. The years had made him very handsome, but he still had that geeky quality about him. We talked. And it was good to see him after so long. When he came to meet me, he brought with him the piece of jewelry he bought for me at the Ren Faire. It was a serpent pendant. I can’t remember whether he had never given it to me and held onto it, or if he had given it to me and I gave it back to him. Regardless, he had kept it, and gave it to me that night.
And then we had another falling out. I said some pretty horrible things, and he returned the sentiment. I deleted him off Myspace and haven’t spoken to him since. That was in 2007. So, 5 or so years. I just sent him an add request on Facebook this morning, so we’ll see if he responds to it. I won’t hold my breath. On the off chance he does, I just want to see how he’s doing and what he’s been up to.